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Showing posts from 2019
It has now been 278 days since my diagnosis.  Since that time, I have had countless doctor appointments, 6 rounds of what I like to call harsh chemo AKA a living hell (technical name: Taxotere), double mastectomy and reconstruction, continuous rounds of Trastuzumab and Pertuzumab, etc; I feel like I have experienced World War III inside of my body, at war to live. There is no pretty way to express what it has been like.  I have many down days of feeling overwhelmed with all of the changes that have occurred, and at times it's hard to motivate myself to do much outside of the norm.  However, I am thankful that I have been able to allow those moments to come and go.  I find that it's important that I remain honest with every emotion that I feel in order to maintain control mentally.  To simply expect yourself to not "feel" after such a traumatic experience is in itself crazy.  I feel most hopeful and gain the most strength when I am able to attach what I a
"What About Your Friends & Gratefulness" On Jan. 25th I'll be 37 years old.  For some reason our culture encourages a person to deny their age or at least cling to the idea of being forever 21.  The irony is that you have the option to either get old or die.  I have been thankful for every birthday but this time around I am more grateful than I have ever been to have the chance to be here.  Lately I've had the feeling that time is standing still and I look around and I am grateful for the small things.  I'm challenging myself to be more aware and to be fully present.  I am thankful to breathe in fresh air whenever I go for a walk, I am thankful for the random hugs from my son,  I am thankful for time spent with my mother, I am thankful for the extra care and dedication shown to me by my boyfriend, and I'm thankful to my friends and family for always showing up and reminding me that I am never alone. I can remember the vision I had for the pho