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Facing My Fear of Hair loss.... A few days ago, I woke early in the morning to use the restroom and as I gently grazed my hair, it began to come out from the root.  I knew that this moment would come but it is a total shock to the system.  I wept uncontrollably, unable to catch my breath at times.  I had just hoped that I could be that one in a million who didn't lose their hair to cancer. My hair has been my crown for so long that I morned the loss of my identity as I had known it.  I wanted nothing more than to just accept it, but it was hard.  I know that at the end of the day, this is just a part of the journey, and I gave myself permission to be sad and afraid if that's how I felt.  I am not a fan of suppressing my true feelings. I believe that you have the right to "feel" and process your way through it. Nonetheless, after the tears, I made the call to my mom and my cousins.  I simply said, "Tonight I have to let it go!".  By the ti...
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Do you understand "The Fight?"  I am now halfway through my chemotherapy treatments, which means I only have 3 more to go!  While everything in me is happy about the decreasing number of treatments remaining, I have found that the actual "Fight" has become much more intense.  What does it mean to "Fight" this disease? I have found that the "Fight" exist mainly within my ability to will myself towards positive thoughts when I feel like literal hell as the chemotherapy does what it's created to do.  My outward display of positivity has gone through the filter of my heart, mind, body and soul before it has been allowed to radiate outwardly to what most of you see.  I remember the high anxiety I experienced before my last treatment.  I felt like each of my legs weighed 1000 tons as I walked myself inside the treatment center.  I felt as if I could already feel the side effects, I could taste the medicine, I could smell the drug...
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"What About Your Friends & Gratefulness" On Jan. 25th I'll be 37 years old.  For some reason our culture encourages a person to deny their age or at least cling to the idea of being forever 21.  The irony is that you have the option to either get old or die.  I have been thankful for every birthday but this time around I am more grateful than I have ever been to have the chance to be here.  Lately I've had the feeling that time is standing still and I look around and I am grateful for the small things.  I'm challenging myself to be more aware and to be fully present.  I am thankful to breathe in fresh air whenever I go for a walk, I am thankful for the random hugs from my son,  I am thankful for time spent with my mother, I am thankful for the extra care and dedication shown to me by my boyfriend, and I'm thankful to my friends and family for always showing up and reminding me that I am never alone. I can remember the vision I had for...
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